This past year we were given a sensory details assignment in writing based on the events of 9/11.  I did not write this lightly and took into account the horrible things that happened during that day. I’m posting this because I think it’s important to keep alive the memory of those who actually were there and put their lives on the line to help others.  The character is completely fictional but many like her stayed behind to assist those unable of getting out and it’s important we honor them.

Beep, Beep, Beep.

My alarm went off attempting to make me aware of the new day. I was tempted to ignore the stupid thing and sleep just 5 more minutes, but the sound of my kids in the kitchen was enough to rouse me. The sun sifted through the open blinds of the room, spilling onto the clothes I had picked out the night before. I could smell the coffee my husband had made wafting under the door and quickly got dressed. 

The floor was cold under my bare feet as I brushed my hair. The mint mouthwash burned my mouth, as I thought about all I had to do today. But that could wait. First, I had to have my coffee and bacon, which Sam must have made as well before heading to work. In the kitchen, the kids were discussing some cartoons and getting into a heated argument over who was the best character. It got bad enough that I had to step in. “Alright! Enough about that..,” I trailed off. “Can someone tell me why the trash smells burnt?” 

“Um…Don’t know?” Charlie offered.

“Whatever. Are you guys completely ready? If you don’t leave soon then you’ll be late.”

“Yes mom,” Kailey groaned. 

“Alright then. I love you guys! Have fun at school!” A chorus of “love you too”s reached my ears as they headed out the door. A breeze blowing through the open window made me grab a sweater and then I was on my own way. 

My route to work just so happened to take me through Central Park and I got to see the leaves turn more and more colorful every day. The squirrels were fighting over some discarded peanuts, and the birds took full advantage of the squabble. Once they were sure the squirrels weren’t paying attention, the birds would swoop down and grab a beakful. The squirrels were left with nothing more than maybe a feather or two and jealousy. 

I passed a pretzel stand and just couldn’t resist getting one. The bacon I had was sort of burnt and I just sort of nibbled on it. Besides, I hadn’t had one in so long and they were my absolute favorite. The fluffy bread combined with the tang of the salt was all that I was craving. I munched on my breakfast and continued on my way.

 The smell of freshly candied nuts from the vendors intertwined with the honking of the taxis and made sure you didn’t forget you were in New York. I could feel the crowd of other walkers squashing against me, as we speed-walked across the street. I attempted not to cough on the thick cloud of perfume coming off of the lady next to me. However, with the crisp fall air flowing around me, I didn’t mind.

As I walked in I saw Ashley, the receptionist, who happens to also be one of my closest friends, directing a group of people. As my boots clacked on the floor, I marveled at the marble floors. How they could still amaze me after all this time I didn’t know, but they managed to take my breath away close to every time.

The sharp scent of cleaning spray broke me from my daze. I walked over to the reception desk as the group there dissipated. As I approached Ashley let out a seemingly evil cackle. “Guess who owes me lunch?” she taunted. A wave of annoyance washed over me. I had lost my bet with her over the Patriots game the night before.

“I do,” I answered glumly and then laughed.

I grabbed a mint from the desk and popped it into my mouth like I always did. Then too soon, the elevator doors gave out a ding and opened like an animal ready to be fed. It was another day of work for me. They clamped shut once I walked in and as soon as they did I was in work mode.  The elevator music drifted down from the ceiling, along with the smell of dirt and grime. The janitors hadn’t gotten to this elevator yet.

As I exited on floor 84 I was greeted by the much more pleasant aroma of fresh donuts. Someone must have brought them in for the managers, hoping to bribe them for a raise. It doesn’t work. Trust me, I tried. 

I walked over to my cubicle littered with family photos, and piles of papers, with the occasional coffee stain. I almost let out a little gasp as I sat. I had forgotten about the new office chairs. The firmness of the chair compared to the cheap flimsy ones almost knocked me off of it. After a terrifying second I let out a sigh of relief because so far, there was no embarrassing fall today. The buzz of my fellow coworkers talking about lunch plans was familiar to me and I settled into the steady flow of paperwork and such.

Around 8:30 I stretched a bit and stifled a yawn. With the weird aftertaste of the mint, I went back to work. 

And then nothing…

For what seemed like a few minutes to a couple of hours there was just darkness. I woke up with a throbbing in my head and a ringing in my ears. I must have hit my head and passed out. For what reason, I don’t know. And why is there smoke? The air tastes almost metallic and fumes are everywhere. I hear a few moans sprinkled with faint curses. What. Is. Going. On?

I press my hand to my forehead where it feels like a woodpecker is at work. It comes away slick with blood. I grab my sweater to push against it to try and stop the bleeding. With that done, I stumble off of the ground and detangle myself from the chair.

I see light bursting through the smoke and figure that’s the way to go. I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket but ignore it for the time being. But I’m not prepared for what I see when I look out the window. Thick billowing plumes of smoke are rising from the center of the other tower. I feel a deep disgust and hatred because I know that this is too insane to be coincidental. Whatever happened, it was on purpose. 

After that epiphany, I immediately feel the instinct to run. But as I turn I’m overwhelmed with shame for not thinking about the others still here. Many people had made it out, I could tell by the thudding footsteps, but I knew that not everyone would be as lucky. 

I’m about to start searching when I remember my phone. My phone! It’s still ringing…

As soon as I flip it open and answer the call, I’m met with a panicked voice.

“Oh my gosh!”

It’s Ashley.

“I knew you were ok! Um..do you know where you are? Wait, wrong question. More importantly, can you get out?” She’s clearly in panic mode and I’m not quite sure what to tell her. 

As I clear my dry throat, I think. With the metal creaking above me and the fire crackling, I’m losing valuable time. 

How do you tell someone that you’ve decided to stay?

“Are you ok?!” Ashley asks, her voice cracking. I look down at the crowd below the building and somehow know which one is her. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” I answer.  

“I know that voice..no. NO. I won’t let you stay. What about your family? Think about them! And…You still owe me lunch! You promised.”

I know she’s just rambling at this point but I can’t waste time. “We both know I’m terrible at keeping promises.” Surprisingly I feel very calm, I know that won’t last. 

“Look,” I tell her, “I’m going to try to get everyone out that I can, and then I promise I’ll get out of here. Ok?”

“Ok..”

“If I don’t..make it..will you tell my family that I love them very much? And that I was thinking about them the whole time?”

“Of course.” She says with a bit of a wobble in her voice.

“Oh, and Ash? You were my best friend, you know that right?”

“Yeah.”

With that, I can’t take anymore, and having said my goodbyes hang up.

In the minutes that follow I make my way through the floor. Each person I help up makes me think of my family and I have to stifle a sob. I taste a bit of blood from my lip which I was biting. 

I help a lady get her leg unstuck, move a desk off of someone. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping me going at this point. Person after person makes their way into the stairwell, but I don’t feel anything. 

Finally, I’ve found everyone that I can and make my way back to my desk. 

I grab a mint from my stash and pop it into my mouth. A pot of coffee is in a puddle on the ground, and the bitter smell makes its way to me. I find a mug and pour myself one last cup. 

I can smell engine fuel, which is odd and my arms are aching from lifting everything. The creaking is bad now and I know there’s no time. So much for my promise. But then I did tell her I was bad at keeping promises.

I sip my coffee and notice a clock on the wall. I’m transported back early this morning when I almost snoozed my alarm. I wouldn’t be here if I had. The thought bounces in my mind along with others. What if the pretzel line had been longer? Why didn’t I hug my kids? Did I do the right thing? 

I sip my coffee and taste salt. At some point, I must have started crying. I’m no longer sure my choice was right, but I made it anyway. I can feel the firm paper of the photo I’m holding and just sit there. I hear one last creak, and then a snap. My last thought actually isn’t of my family or friends. It’s of that marble floor that never failed to amaze me. I know it’s strange and I hate myself because of it, but I wonder what will become of that floor. And with that, it’s over.